Limerick Evening Post and Clare Sentinel

13 October 1829

City Limerick Quarter Sessions

  Shaving extraordinary with new variations!
—Andrew LAHIFF, of the Guild of Barbers, was put to the bar, accompanied by his dearly beloved wife, both charged with larceny on the person of a poor countryman, named Garrett Lane, who resorted to the shop of this nose-pulling Bagatelle, for the purpose of mowing down a crop of untoward bristles, which thims had been long maturing on the foreground of this poor man's head.  To render the operation more comfortable to his new customer, LAHIFF had him introduced into an inner apartment; and Mrs. LAHIFF seemed so interested in the transformation her husband was to work on the surface of poor Garrett's face, that she was resolved on taking her part in the melo-drama.  Down sat poor Garrett, when, after locking knees, Andrew commenced his operations—first, administering a strong solution of soap and water, and weilding an edge keen enough not only for stubble, but fully equal to an experiment on the carotid artery, he takes poor Garrett by the nose, and lifting the poor man's head towards the ceiling of the room, still holding the nose in and iron grasp, when Garrett screamed out that he felt a hand in his pocket—' hold, hold'— don't stir,' repeated Andrew, ' or ——. ' My pock—et; somebody is shaving my pock—et,' cried out poor Garrett, which was too true, for, while the husband had been screwing up the nose of his unfortunate customer, the wife had gone through the variations of the scene, in which she very ably played first fiddle, by lightening poor Garrett's pocket of twelve shillings!!  The scene, as described, would have been a rich treat for the pencil of a HOGARTH.  The wife has been sentenced to seven years transportation, while LAHIFF is consigned to amuse himself at the tread-mill for six months, the probable term of his beloved spouse's trip to the Antipodes.
  The following are the other convicts:—
  Charles WARD, for stealing a handkerchief from the pocket of Mr. James GUNSON, and Mary BARRETT, for receiving stolen goods, to be transported each for seven years.
  Mary HEHIR, for stealing haberdashery from Mr. Francis BENN, to be imprisoned six months at hard labor.
  Daniel BUCKLEY, for riot and assault on the Police, six months at hard labor.
  John CRONIN and John ROE, for receiving stolen goods, to be imprisoned six months each at hard labor.
  Ann CONNELLY, stealing a card-cloth, property of her master, John Hartigan M'KNIGHT, Esq., three months at hard labor.
  Thady REARDON and Patrick RYAN, for an aggravated assault on Cornelius MURPHY, Constable, to be imprisoned one month each, and REARDON six months further unless he pay prosecutor 10l.
  Margaret BUCKLEY, for assault and battery, one fortnight's imprisonment.
  Mary BLANDFORD, James CONNELLY, Ann CONNELLY, and Catherine CONNELLY, for rescuing goods distrained, to be each imprisoned one week.

© Nick Reddan 2007

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